*NOTE: Like my What Would Happen If I Die post, I’d like to say this isn’t some weird online suicide note…it’s just my online will in case something were to happen.
Hey, I was an Eagle Scout: “Always be prepared”!
I write this on my laptop, sitting cross legged on the floor, leaning against the foot of my bed.
Just 5 minutes ago a very close friend of mine who’s a doctor called me. She was getting ready for a party and got a call that an unidentified 27 year old male was in some sort of “bike” accident, and had arrived at the hospital with bad brain damage. Most likely it’s irreversible and he will likely die in the next few hours. She had to cancel the plans and come into the hospital.
I could hear the relief in her voice as I picked up my phone. She knows I’m not in the same city, and even if I was, I wouldn’t have my scooter there….but it reminded her of me. A 27 year old male who owns a scooter.
Her call reminded me how quick I can go from happy-go-lucky Neville….to a dead lump of cells splattered on the pavement.
I then thought about how freakin cool it’d be if I was dead, but had a post explaining to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD what to do in that situation! Like I was still blogging from the afterlife!
Oddly enough I don’t care about dying. If I’m dead…that’s it. I don’t have to worry about it anymore.
What worries me is the impact my burden would have on my family and friends if I’m still alive…but severely damaged.
Not quite dead….but sort of.
So I’d like to make a public, online living will. In the event of my death or serious injury, anyone in the world can look at what I’d have wanted for myself in different events.
Hopefully this never has to be done…but hey, shit happens.
In the case of my death:
- I would want all of my liquid assets to be transfered to my family. This would be wired over to my parents (whom of course would use it to pay off associated costs, or share it with my brother).
- Donate every organ and usable part of my body. Rip it all out and give it to people who need them.
- If I have some sort of funeral, I’d like this statement to be read:
- “Hello everyone, thank you for being here today….I am talking to you from beyond the grave, spooOooOOOoOOoky huh (in a ghost voice)! I’d like to say something as my last words: I was lucky. I was REALLY lucky. I was born in one of the best countries in the world, at a time and place where rapid technological change and innovation was taking place, into an uncommonly happy marriage between my parents, with a great brother, into a small but tight and highly successful Zoroastrian community, and had a fantastic upbringing.I’ve been lucky to have influences on my life that allowed me to never have a job, wake up whenever I want, live wherever I want, do whatever I want….anytime I wanted. I was able to “stay young” through this and have an incredibly fun time on Earth. That being said, that is now all gone. It is gone, but was thoroughly enjoyed wilst it was had.I was here…and now I am not.
This is neither joyous or sad. It just is.
I would like to say I’ll “always be looking over you guys”…but I won’t. I will simply be gone. The sack of cells previously known as Neville Medhora which evolved from billions of years of small genetic modifications and selections has been irreversibly removed from existence.
I am reminded of a quote I heard Jerry Seinfeld say about why he was shutting down the most popular show on television at it’s peek. He said, “After years of going on stage and entertaining the audience, I’ve developed a sense for when to get off stage. Stay too short, and they’ll want more. Stay on too long, and it can leave a bad taste. Now is the time.”
I may not have “stayed on too long”….but it was a great run while I was here!
And look on the bright side: Now that I’m gone, someone else can finally have the distinction of being the best looking human in the world ;-)
(insert raucous laughter and applause here).
I love you all.
In the case of serious brain damage:
- Pull the plug. If that doesn’t work, hold a pillow over my face. If that doesn’t work, inject me with something that’ll kill me. If they don’t allow that kind of thing…ship me somewhere they do, and get it over with.
- I’d like to make it absolutely clear I refuse to live as a vegetable. I will actually be ANGRY if someone decides to keep me in this state. If I need other people to take care of me in order to simply exist…it’s my turn to exit the stage.
So there you have it! In case something happens, at least people will sort of know what to do.
…now let’s hope no one ever has to search for this post :-)
Have you every wandered what it looks like to see me work?
Of course you have!
Enjoy 5 hours of me working on a computer condensed into 1 minute and 20 seconds. EXCITING isn’t it!
You can actually see it start to get dark around the 1:00 minute mark:
It’s a little funny how many people would LOVE to work at home…little do they know, it’s just you sitting at a computer for hours on end.
…but I love it :-)
When a kid says, “I wanna be a doctor”, the process usually goes:
- He graduates high school
- Enters college and enrolls in some form of pre-med program
- Goes through years of biology and other doctor-ish courses
- Goes into the hibernation known as “studying for the MCAT”
- Applies to medical school
Somewhere along that path 90% (actually I just pulled that statistic out of my ass)….but a LARGE percent of these “I wanna be doctors” never make it.
Most of them soon realize they either hate biology, they’re not smart or hardworking enough to score high on the MCAT…or that they don’t want to work so hard to be a doctor after all.
Unfortunately these realizations often come late in college…when they’ve already spent much of their college career attempting to be a doctor.
Well I’m Indian….which either means I’m destined to become a doctor or an engineer. Both admiral….however as a high school student I couldn’t REALLY tell if I truly wanted to become one of these…simply not enough experience.
However, I was a fortunate little lad…my high school offered this class where you leave school for three hours every other day to shadow different types of doctors. This is nearly HALF the school day you get to dress up in scrubs and follow different doctors as they make their rounds.
This was a two year course…the first year being preparation, the second year actually following doctors.
The 2nd year came around, and it was SO COOL as a student being able to leave everyday in my car (we had special passes which let us freely walk around school). We got to shadow an allergists, dentists, general practitioners, sports medicine doctors and a lot more.
By shadowing, I mean we followed them everywhere, including their rounds with patients. Some places occasionally made us do bitch work (like organizing patient records)…but most places really made us feel we worked in the medical industry.
This was a REMARKABLE OPPORTUNITY for myself, because it made me realize something:
I DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT BEING A DOCTOR!!
I quickly found out I had the same amount of empathy for others as a crotchety old man.
Have you ever had a great doctor who takes lots of interest in your medical problem? Yea…that WOULD NOT have been me.
While I enjoyed leaving school for this, I really detested the whole aura of being in a medical facility. I never think, “I’d love to spend 12 hours a day in a place filled with a bunch of sick people!” It’s just not my thaang.
95 year old man slowly dying a painful death in a hospital? PUT THIS GUY OUT OF HIS MISERY! Why spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep him alive? What’s the end goal of that?
Sometimes I just didn’t understand what the point was. If I ever became a doctor, I’d be more like Dr. Kevorkian.
I must admit certain specialties such as the allergist had it pretty decent: He had very normal hours, mostly healthy patients (with the exception of runny noses), a family-like community of patients and staff, and roughly $400,000/year in profit. He basically owned a business he could eventually sell. That was neat….
However the monotony of this got to me. He enjoyed what he did….but it’s not something I would want. It simply didn’t interest me.
It was around this time I started getting very much into business and reading about business men whom I admired. The way they made money was scalable….the way doctors made money was much like how the janitor made money: by the hour.
This did not appeal to me.
A doctor has a very likely chance of making a great living for the rest of their working lives….but a business person can either go broke, do as well, or make it REALLY big….without necessarily having to be present all the time.
THIS appealed to me!
I don’t know WHERE this whole “Handstands Pictures” thing came from, I just know I probably have more of these pictures than the average population.
- Most people can’t do them
- They’re hard to capture on camera
- You look weird trying to do a handstand on the Great Wall of China:
(Notice Tim Ferris watching in amazement in the background)
uʍop ǝpısdn sıɥʇ ǝʇıɹʍ ll,ı ‘spuɐʇspuɐɥ ɟo ɹouoɥ uı
Back in late high school and early college I started a couple of businesses and they all made some modest degree of money. The funny thing was the money went to my single student checking account…and I didn’t know what to do with it!
It just accumulated. I didn’t understand it was like cash.
Then one day I discovered ordering stuff online. I could pay for stuff online with that number it said on my bank statement. SWEET!
One of my very first purchases was high quality speakers. I’m a bit of an audiophile and love high quality sound.
I researched every computer speaker out there and ended up buying the Klipsch Promedia 4.1 sound system which was the best (and most expensive) set of computer speakers I found.
I….was…..BLOWN AWAY by them.
It truly was one of the most satisfying purchases I ever made. THX certified, 400 watts, BOOMING sub woofer (but not just booming…but REALISTIC bass)….the list went on. Watching movies and listening to music on this audio system in a tiny dorm room was the coolest damn thing in the world to me.
I had all four satellite speakers setup in my tiny dorm and the huge sub woofer setup under my desk (when turned up, it would rattle my plastic desk so violently I couldn’t use my computer mouse)!
About 9 years later, my poor Klipsch speakers have finally run their course. Something is wrong with the amplifier and it doesn’t seem easily fixable.
Anyhow…usually I’d be pissed something I bought is no longer working. But not these.
I’d gladly pay $400+ again for the pleasure of listening to these. I loved those speakers.
So the last several places I’ve lived I only used two of the satellite speakers, and the bass never gets turned all the way. The system is powerful enough to keep all the settings at half and still sound incredible. So I just bought a new set of them, except it has only 2 satellite speakers, and the system is also wireless (so I can play music from my laptop and have it stream directly to the speakers).
Cheers to the speakers that have caused so very, very, very many of my neighbors to complain, call the cops and make them just downright frustrated to live next to me.