The Online Living Will of Neville Medhora

*NOTE: Like my What Would Happen If I Die post, I’d like to say this isn’t some weird online suicide note…it’s just my online will in case something were to happen.
Hey, I was an Eagle Scout: “Always be prepared”!

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11-13-2010.
Saturday.
6:24 PM.

I write this on my laptop, sitting cross legged on the floor, leaning against the foot of my bed.

Just 5 minutes ago a very close friend of mine who’s a doctor called me.  She was getting ready for a party and got a call that an unidentified 27 year old male was in some sort of “bike” accident, and had arrived at the hospital with bad brain damage.  Most likely it’s irreversible and he will likely die in the next few hours.  She had to cancel the plans and come into the hospital.

I could hear the relief in her voice as I picked up my phone.  She knows I’m not in the same city, and even if I was, I wouldn’t have my scooter there….but it reminded her of me.  A 27 year old male who owns a scooter.

Her call reminded me how quick I can go from happy-go-lucky Neville….to a dead lump of cells splattered on the pavement.

I then thought about how freakin cool it’d be if I was dead, but had a post explaining to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD what to do in that situation!  Like I was still blogging from the afterlife!

Oddly enough I don’t care about dying.  If I’m dead…that’s it.  I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

What worries me is the impact my burden would have on my family and friends if I’m still alive…but severely damaged.

Not quite dead….but sort of.

So I’d like to make a public, online living will.  In the event of my death or serious injury, anyone in the world can look at what I’d have wanted for myself in different events.

Hopefully this never has to be done…but hey, shit happens.

In the case of my death:

  • I would want all of my liquid assets to be transfered to my family.  This would be wired over to my parents (whom of course would use it to pay off associated costs, or share it with my brother).
  • Donate every organ and usable part of my body.  Rip it all out and give it to people who need them.
  • If I have some sort of funeral, I’d like this statement to be read:
  • “Hello everyone, thank you for being here today….I am talking to you from beyond the grave, spooOooOOOoOOoky huh (in a ghost voice)!  I’d like to say something as my last words: I was lucky.  I was REALLY lucky.  I was born in one of the best countries in the world, at a time and place where rapid technological change and innovation was taking place, into an uncommonly happy marriage between my parents, with a great brother, into a small but tight and highly successful Zoroastrian community, and had a fantastic upbringing.I’ve been lucky to have influences on my life that allowed me to never have a job, wake up whenever I want, live wherever I want, do whatever I want….anytime I wanted. I was able to “stay young” through this and have an incredibly fun time on Earth. That being said, that is now all gone.  It is gone, but was thoroughly enjoyed wilst it was had.I was here…and now I am not.

    This is neither joyous or sad.  It just is.

    I would like to say I’ll “always be looking over you guys”…but I won’t.  I will simply be gone.  The sack of cells previously known as Neville Medhora which evolved from billions of years of small genetic modifications and selections has been irreversibly removed from existence.

    I am reminded of a quote I heard Jerry Seinfeld say about why he was shutting down the most popular show on television at it’s peek.  He said, “After years of going on stage and entertaining the audience, I’ve developed a sense for when to get off stage.  Stay too short, and they’ll want more. Stay on too long, and it can leave a bad taste.  Now is the time.”

    I may not have “stayed on too long”….but it was a great run while I was here!

    And look on the bright side: Now that I’m gone, someone else can finally have the distinction of being the best looking human in the world ;-)

    (insert raucous laughter and applause here).

    I love you all.


In the case of serious brain damage:

  • Pull the plug.  If that doesn’t work, hold a pillow over my face.  If that doesn’t work, inject me with something that’ll kill me.  If they don’t allow that kind of thing…ship me somewhere they do, and get it over with.
  • I’d like to make it absolutely clear I refuse to live as a vegetable.  I will actually be ANGRY if someone decides to keep me in this state. If I need other people to take care of me in order to simply exist…it’s my turn to exit the stage.

So there you have it!  In case something happens, at least people will sort of know what to do.

…now let’s hope no one ever has to search for this post :-)