Your Top 5 Influences

I wrote this essay while on a cruise ship in Hawaii a few days ago:

Also recorded it, so you can listen instead of read it!

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Your Top Five Influences.
by: Neville Medhora

I’m sitting on the island of Hawaii right now….and it’s very clear that everything here is well….slow.

The pace of life.

The people.

The ideas and ambitions they have.

It’s like this in every small island nation I’ve been.

Maybe you’ve noticed this too.

But why is this?

Is there something in the air?

Are the genetics of Hawaiians that much different than the rest of us?

Of course not.

The reason things are slow here, is because the people who grew up in this easy-going environment picked up traits from the people around them.

They are simply a product of their environment.

Now let’s forget Hawaiians for a second, and focus on ourselves….well, unless you’re Hawaiian J


Let’s pretend we grew up in a blue-collar, working-class town where high school football is practically a religion.

Everyone around you has similar factory jobs and they all constantly talk about the high school football team….because many of them were on it in their generation.

If we were raised in this environment….how do you think we’d turn out?

I’d bet 98 out of 100 people turn out the exact same way.  They will enter blue-collar type roles, live roughly the same way as the people before them, and closely follow high school football.

This is simply because we are a product of our environment.

You almost can’t HELP but grow up a certain way with that upbringing.

Now let’s press the reset button.


Let’s presume instead that you grew up much like Steve Jobs, the man behind one of the biggest companies in the world (Apple) that completely revolutionized many industries.

Your parents would be blue collar people, but focused on fine craftsmanship.  Your are growing up in the heart of a developing Silicon Valley.  Everyone of your neighbors is an engineer of some sort….building new and exciting things at the top technology companies on the planet.  Most of your friends are extremely into the newly emerging field of computers….and you all get together and tinker with them on a daily bases.

Your friends are curious kids who constantly tinker with technology, and all of their parents encourage that.

People who live near you are CEO’s of large technology companies which are changing the world.  Entrepreneurs all around you are taking new technologies and making products out of them.

There’s a buzz in the air brewing with new technology and excitement.

Now….how do you think we’d turn out in that environment?

I bet it would be radically different from the small blue-collar upbringing wouldn’t it?

Your interests would be different.

Your thoughts would be different.

Your ambitions would be different.

What you think is POSSIBLE in your life is totally different.

All because you’re the product of your environment.

Now, am I saying that unless you were fortunately placed in some amazing area in an amazing time in history…that you’re doomed?

No…not one bit.  In fact, most successful people spring from drastically different environments.  Often from extraordinarily poor backgrounds.

So how do we break the mold that 98% of the people around us blindly follow?

I’ll tell you how it can be done.

Everyone can do these things….but most don’t.

The materials you need to break out of the mold are available to almost everyone….but most don’t really follow through.

They simply sit back comfortably in their familiar life and idle along.

For a lot of people that’s ok….but for a select few….the desire to break out itches and rubs until they MUST take action.

But before I tell you some specific steps to break out of this mold…let me explain the principle behind this.

You are the composite average of the top five people you hang around.

Did you get that?

You are the composite average of the top five people you hang around.

This phrase is simply a variation of the quote “We are a product of our environment” ….but I like this one better because it’s extremely specific.

You are the composite average of the top five people you hang around.

Think about it.

Think about the top five people you spend the most time around.

It can be friends, it can be a roommate, it can be co-workers, it can be a spouse, it can be your family.

Identify the top five people you spend the MOST amount of hours with.

Now look at them.

Do they live the kind of lives you want to live?  Or do you want to avoid living like them?

Do they do the kind of things you want to do?  Or do they involve themselves in activities you find unappealing?

Do they think about the things you like to think about?  Or do they have shallow thoughts and conversations you don’t enjoy?

Do they challenge themselves and others to become better?  Or do they simply coast along with their lives?

What did you answer?

Do you like the people you hang around the most?

Would you like to one day grow up like them?

If yes….then you’re well on your way.  Because… you are the composite average of the top five people you hang around.

However if you DO NOT want to become like the people around you… are facing some trouble.  Because… you are the composite average of the top five people you hang around.

However, I promised you that we can change this.  Even if you’re not able to extract yourself completely from your environment.

Let’s get started fixing this problem immediately.

The goal here is to become influence by GREAT people who have legitimately achieved GREAT things.  And here’s a way to get DIRECTLY INFLUENCED by some of the greatest humans in history.


That’s it.  Read.

It sounds so simple…but let me explain a little more.

Read auto-biographies where great people first-handedly describe their lives.

It’s incredible what you’ll pick up from these.

You’ll learn how they handled problems.

How they think.

How they defied odds.

You’ll learn about their triumphant successes….as well as all the miserable failures it took to reach them.

You’ll learn what they did at every stage in life.

Now simply reading ONE persons life history isn’t good enough.

I admire many world-famous musicians for their talents and accomplishments, but I personally wouldn’t want to live lives… like theirs.

However I can still read about them and emulate certain aspects of their success.

I remember reading an interview with the famous Comedian Jerry Seinfeld….and they asked him if he was a Scientologist because a reporter found out he attended a few Scientology classes.

He denied being a Scientologist and said:

“These kind of things are like going to the supermarket.  You go to the supermarket and there’s all this stuff, most of which you don’t need.  You simply go in, pick up the items you want, then leave.”

Now that’s marvelous isn’t it?

In one simple explanation he said that you can learn different things from different places.  You may not agree with everything one guru, one author, or one celebrity ….but you CAN learn small nuggets about their success from hearing their stories.

This is why it’s important to immerse yourself with intelligent and successful people.  Even if you don’t have any around you….you can easily obtain books they’ve written.

In this era, we can even load up video interviews over the Internet instantly with virtually any celebrity, businessman or success story.

We can watch these things and learn little golden nuggets from each.

Go to your local library and browse the biographies and auto-biographies.  Find a name that appeals to you…it can be a celebrity, businessman, sports star….whoever.  And read about their life.

See how they overcame obstacles.

See how they got certain lucky breaks.

See how they handled stressful situations.

See how they broke the mold of the people around them.

The more you read, the more you will start noticing patterns, and the more YOU will start emulating those people you so admire.

You see….if you want to become like someone….you can simply act like them!

This is an amazing little mind hack that can work wonders.

Do you admire a certain successful person?

Whenever you’re presented with a situation.  Do what they would do.

Act like they would act.

Participate in activities they participate in.

There’s a famous quotation that says, “Success leaves clues.”

It means if you see someone successful…you can follow in his or her footsteps to have better odds at becoming more successful yourself.

If you live in a negative environment, immersing yourself in these kinds of books or materials can completely change your life.

So let’s quickly re-cap what we’ve talked about here tonight:

If you analyze the top 5 people you hang around….and you want to turn out like them, then you’re in great company.

However if your circle of influence could use a little work….then you can either start eliminating some of those people….or adding more influences through books, videos, interviews….all the above.

But keep in mind….you must read A LOT for this to work.  Enough to where these successful people you admire become a bigger influence than the negative people around you.

Doing this can completely change your thoughts.

And therefore completely change the course of your life.

It has for millions of people, and can work for you too.

This is Neville Medhora.  Goodnight.

Blog posted on: January 2, 2012

78 comments on “Your Top 5 Influences

      1. john

        thx for the post. i really liked it. you are a talented individual and i’m confident you will do well in whatever you do. one little suggestion would be to knock off the foul language in your videos. it totally turns people off and denigrates your msg. just a thought, bud. good luck.

        1. Dividendium

          I actually like the foul language in the videos.

          There’s the saying that goes “If everyone is your customer, then no one is”. I think the market that AppSumo is pursuing (one that finds Sumo fat jokes funny), doesn’t have a problem with foul language, and even finds it entertaining.

          If you think there’s a market for “clean” startup info, you could take these videos, reshoot them without the language (or just edit it out), and upload the new “clean” video to YouTube. Then post comments on these videos with links to your “clean” versions.

          I’d be interested to see if that test actually drew traffic or not.

  1. Ken C

    Thanks for that Neville. I’m at an exciting point in my life where I’ve just begun changing a few things and that was just what I needed to hear.

  2. Aaron


    Awesome post. So true about the people around you having such an impact. You spelled this out so well and clearly – and the steps people can take to change.

    Time to look at my 5 people and act accordingly.

    Take care, Aaron

    1. Neville Post author

      Thanks Aaron….it was easy to write this, because I strongly believe this is very true.

      Tried to make sure it was very actionable.

      I bet one or two of your top 5 need to be phased out….

    1. Neville Post author

      Stuff about Ben Franklin.
      Stuff about Nikola Tesla.
      Stuff about Ted Turner.
      Stuff about Jaz-z, Warren Buffett, Bill Gates…..hell, I even read an auto-bio about Jackie Chan and still remember lessons from it till this day.


    1. Neville Post author


      I can’t tell you how much of my day is spent listening to audio stuff.
      My iPhone is INCREDIBLY helpful.

      Chillin in the bathroom…AUDIO BOOK.
      Before going to bed, READING.
      While doing work, LISTENING TO INTERVIEWS.

      Immersing yourself in this stuff can literally be one of your Top 5 influences.

      1. Chung


        Do you have any go-to Interviews or Podcast on the big 3, Health, Wealth, and Love?

        Lovin’ your stuff.. been really using it so thank YOU.

  3. Alan

    Hey Neville
    I’m a new reader of your blog, and really like it.
    Im a 40+ year old dad with two girls that are very demanding of my time. I therefore find it hard to find time to read as much as I would like, one thing I’ve started doing which others in similar situation might find helpful is listening to audiobooks. Some I’ve listened to lately are The Steve Jobs Bio, The Four Hour Work Week, and Delivering Happiness The Zappos Story.
    Cheers for the posts keep them coming.

    1. Neville Post author

      THERE YA GO! Seems like you’ve got a start.

      I keep tons of interviews about successful people, marketing etc….on my iPhone.

      You can listen in the bathroom….before going to bed…..while doing work….while driving.

      Understandably those little girls probably take up 90% of your otherwise-free-time….but there’s still ways to sneak stuff in.

      Bet I can guess who your Top 2 influences are :-)

  4. Vickash

    Hey Neville, thanks for this great post. I’ve been doing this for a while now, but your post made me realize this applies to which blogs you read regularly too. I ended up pruning my subscriptions a LOT.

    Do you have a name or link for that Jackie Chan book? Sounds like a good read.

    @ Alan: I’ve recently read those too. You might like Gary Vaynerchuk’s Thank You Economy if you liked those. I read that right after the Zappos book.

    Oh, and for anyone interested in internet startups, I was up until 4am watching these interviews: Extremely good.

      1. Neville Post author

        Oh yea…that’s the one! I thought it was very interesting the way he grew up…I had no idea.

        Even books I consider “shitty” I’ve often learned at least ONE thing from that I remember my whole life.

        So it might seem funny to read a Jackie Chan auto-bio….but I definitely draw lessons from it all the time!

  5. Bartjan

    Thanks for a very interesting post. I must say – I really love everyone in my top-5, but they all have similar problems to mine (self-discipline, focus, sustained succes) (maybe because they’re all ADD-ers like me ;-)

    Anyways: you just added another motivation to my self development hobby. I’ve been listening to some Napoleon Hill & Earl Nightingale stuff thanks to you!

    A lazy question: Got any tips on a good source for free audiobooks and interviews? Where do you get yours? Maybe you use a paid service (which would make everything a lot easier), but I’m not experienced with this medium yet and I don’t feel like investing until I know it works for me. Tips would be appreciated, but as I said it’s a lazy question.

    Thanks again for sharing these thoughts!



    1. Neville Post author

      Hey Bartjan….Earl Nightingale and Napolean Hill are two great starts!

      I’d suggest hitting up the local library.

      Another (freely available anywhere in the world) resource is YouTube.
      Type in stuff like:
      Donald Trump interview.
      Howard Stern interview.
      Ted Turner interview.
      Steve Jobs interview.
      etc etc etc etc etc….

      Also is fantastic for interesting interviews with people changing the world.

  6. Krish

    Very great advice. A lot of people say “read” when you are younger, an in school, but you dont see the potential advantages right then and there. But imagine hearing this essay from your teachers instead of just the words “read”.

    It can change your perspective. You’re saying that reading is like becomming friends with an author. Very awesome. Keep it up bro.

    1. Neville

      Thanks man! It really is like becoming friends with the author.

      I feel like I’m in “the company of great people” when I read an auto-bio of someone successful.

  7. Greg

    Great post Neville. I’m glad I’ve personally discovered you, Noah… Appsumo… killer stuff and your freebies are awesome. While I recommend the appsumo stuff to anyone, even your freebies are gold!

    A lot is stuff we already know, right? Obvious, like you often say… but somewhere it slips through the cracks and needs to be remembered and relived. Like when I read “think and grow rich” 50,000 times in my 20’s! It’s all coming back to me know.

    I’m currently reading 4 Hour Work Week based upon seeing you or Noah talk about it… I feel like Tim Ferriss is already in my top 5… I’m reading the book over and over, listening to it while I program… drive… I bought the kindle book and the audio! lol

    But thanks for posts like this, people are bumming out bad already with the attitude that this year will suck worse than ever… and so it will… for them that is! =)

    1. Neville

      Thanks man! Glad to hear you like our stuff….it’s fun to make also :-)

      I seriously listen OVER AND OVER to certain things. Before Steve Jobs died I probably listened to his 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech on YouTube like 200 times (and I’m NOT exaggerating).

      I listened to “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale pretty much on repeat while I worked for about a year and a half. I almost memorized the whole 30 minute speech without trying.

      If you hear something enough, it’ll start slowing seeping into your brain. And you WANT good stuff to seep into your brain.

      However hang out with same-ole-same-ole losers all day……and the same thing will happen :-)

  8. corrieLyn moormann carreno tesoriero

    I have noticed that hanging around personality disorder types with bad habits tend to rub off on those close by without much effort because it makes it easier to justify personal slacking. This occurs at a rather subconscious level-so beware. Don’t avoid those who give you constructive criticism-the less you want to hear it, chances are it is probably accurate.(Deep down we know!) I hate to be so ass-kiss but I only have 3 folks in my bookmark toolbar feed and you are one of them. Neville, you have a remarkable balance of wisdom, experience and entertainment.

    1. Neville

      Thank you!

      Well if reading my stuff snaps you out of boring-life mentality….then by all means keep reading!

      You need people in your Top 5 that almost make you feel puny because of how great they are…..and you strive harder and harder to be like them, or at least get to their level.

      Surround yourself with dummies….and you’ll likely become like them, or stay only SLIGHTLY ahead of them.

  9. Sebastien Cloutier

    Great! That’s is a great encouragement.
    This is exactly what I’ve been doing in the last year to change the way I think and change my future…read read and read. What you just said is totally true!!!
    I still have some killing to do in the wantrepreneur that is inside of me, and you are definitely one of my biggest inspiration!

    1. Neville Post author

      Thanks Seb!

      After reading (or watching/listening) enough…you will realize most entrepreneurs have some hesitation before starting something, but quickly charge past it.

      You will learn that too :-)

  10. Dave Victorine

    Dude, great stuff! I have been loading up at the library this week with biographies, and this is the encouragement i needed to keep making time to read. I spend too much time with worthless influences that have input in my life right now. Also nice job on your song the other day! I actually started a blog to create new music everyday for a year at

    What software are you guys using?

    Thanks again, great post.

  11. Neville Post author

    Thanks Dave!
    Make it a priority to read every day, or night….whenever. I’d say at least an hour…although when I really got into reading, it was more like 3-4 hours a day (it’s a bit less now).

    For the song my brother was using a program called Abelton (or something like that) to record.

    Best of luck learning (and IMPLEMENTING)!

  12. Angel

    Right on, Neville. This was a great reminder. 2006 was such a great year for me. Why? Because my business hit the crapper and it gave me a lot of time to read. And read. And read. I learned more than I ever did in college, and it fundamentally changed the way I speak, think, and approach problems. Things are better now–workwise–than they were in ’06, yet I haven’t lost the insatiable desire to read and learn more from the greats.
    Man! I’ve seen great suggestions for books and sites in the comments, but no one’s mentioned Mixergy yet. I’d check out the interview with some funny Indian guy. Medhora something or other. It was pretty good.

    1. Neville Post author

      LOL….loved that ending part. For a second I was like, ‘HEY THAT’S ME” ….unti I realized :-)

      Glad to remind you of the important of immersing yourself in good material. It’ll literally change the way you think about stuff if you do it enough!

      1. Angel

        Exactly. I’m currently going through the books and processes that Gary Halbert recommended in his “Hands on Experience…” letter, and it’s already making a huge difference in my work. Makes me wanna make a “Claude Hopkins is my Homie!” t-shirt. Good stuff.

  13. Chris

    Nice post Neville. As someone that lives in Hawaii getting a stimulating professional environment can be difficult. That being said, the people you are seeing around are those that they put in front of tourists to extract their money and have you leave.

    There are a lot of ambitious people that have lived or come from this Island including people you may have heard of such as Steve Case (founder of AOL), Piere Omidyar (eBay Founder) and President Barack Obama (whether you like him or not he did become President of the US).
    I agree with being the sum of the 5 people you surround yourself with. It takes effort to find ambitious, intelligent people that don’t annoy the hell out of you.
    Too bad you aren’t on Oahu (Honolulu) as I would send you home with some fantastic local coffees for you and Noah courtesy of the farmers I work with.

    1. Neville Post author

      Whilst reading this into the microphone, I almost KNEW I’d get someone from Hawaii saying something :-)

      However Hawaii was just a small example. OF COURSE there’s ambitious people that spring up, I was just trying to capture “Beach Mentality” (which I find in any beach-town, not just Hawaii).

      But living on an island definitely presents some challenges to hanging out with successful people (there’s simply FEWER people)…….although I bet there’s massive amounts of awesome conferences and events that go on there! The Hawaii COnvention Center looked incredible.

  14. Tzippy

    Thank you! Love your stuff. I grew up around people that talk big but never accomplished much. Some of those people worked very, very, hard but didn’t get very far. Maybe they focused their energy on the wrong things?

    Earl Nightingale and Napolean Hill are also 2 of my favorites along with 4HWW, N.K. and you. I feel like the more I read and learn, the more I realize I don’t know and I’m not ready yet to release the stuff I’m working on. After reading this post, I realize I have a bunch more interview and biographies that I need to surround myself with.

    1. Neville Post author

      At least you’re around people that work hard..most people don’t even get THAT.

      I like hanging around people who at least show great potential…or even better….have already proven their RESULTS.

      They don’t need to talk big…..their environment reflects it.

      Glad this post reminded you to get your butt reading and consuming ALL THE TIME!
      Cut out most of your TV watching and replace it with educational stuff.
      Cut out some time listening to music in your car, and start listening to informational podcasts or MP3s.

      Best of luck!

  15. Abdul Kannady

    You know i read about the 80/20 rule in Tims book and found that only 20% of people around you can propel you forward to 80% of results you seek in life and business.If someone doesn’t make you stronger, they make you weak.As per Neville, just shred them off and look for new people that can help you achieve success in every sphere of life.I didn’t have an idea that books can do that.thank you Nev!

    1. Neville Post author

      Very true!

      80/20 rule applies almost everywhere.

      Books are how I got my curiosity about business so high. I didn’t come from an entrepreneurial family, but reading about these great businessmen made me realize it IS possible to become like them.

      So books spawned the curiosity which led me to seek out more information from actual businessmen, and then start my own etc.

      So YES, books can actually be one of your largest influence, even if you don’t have many great people around you.

  16. Michael Monaco

    More great advice brother.
    I love the audio portion on this post. You should consider having a podcast like Dan Miller (48 days to the work you love).
    Yes biographies/autobiographies are great, although after reading Steve jobs biography I would not want to take after his showering habits! Yes 80/20 rule applies.

    1. Neville

      I might consider that….doing the podcast was fun.

      I find myself listing to this recording every once in a while….even though it’s ME talking! So I’ll presume other people like it too :-)

  17. Lee Egstrom

    Great post Nev.

    A few quotes come two mind.

    1.) Earners are Learners
    2.) Leaders are Readers

    I think the best quote that somes up your thoughts here come from a Pimp in Pomona California who said the following.

    3.) “If I hang around with 5 broke ninjas, I’m gonna be the 6th” – Suga Free

    Keep it up big Nev.

    1. Neville Post author

      LOL! Love that quote (about the Pimp in Pomona)!

      Sometimes I love Snoop Dogg quotes like, “Ball till ya fall” ….because in such an easy-to-understand way you get some powerful information.,

      Thanks Lee!

  18. Annette Walker

    This one totally rocks (pun intended):
    “Sex Money Kiss” by Gene Simmons

    Yes, the guy from the rock band KISS. He was running ghetto tests in the early 70s, leaving flyers on subway seats to make money buying comic book collections. Always starting up businesses. Didn’t even speak English when his single mom moved to the US when he was 9. I checked it out of the library and it’s an autographed copy.

    1. Neville Post author

      I actually have watched a couple of interviews on YouTube with Gene Simmons, he’s a great business man….very brash and direct way of talking to.

      Thanks for the recommendation!

  19. Tony

    Nev, great post! This is very true. I started reading and learning success principles years ago. It was the tipping point that changed the direction of my life completely. If it wasn’t for me reading, I’d probably be stuck bagging groceries. But now, I’ve started several businesses and do cool shit. When r u gonna write ur autobiography?

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  23. Karl

    Really enjoyed listening to this. Kind of reminiscent of Earl Nightingale’s “The Strangest Secret” in the way you delivered it.

  24. Damien

    Hey Neville , I m just reading through each of your posts every day on the way to work and it’s just as addictive as Gary Halbert’s letters.

    Reading this post just connected another one of my dots.

    I shared so much of your ideas with people and they think I have been in business for 5 years!
    But I am really in it for just over 1 year!

    Thank you and keep them coming!

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  26. Liam Morgan

    Thanks Nev,

    Was just talking with my wife yesterday about this issue so great timing, how serendipitous!

    Part of this reminded me of one of my old tutors who would ask the question “what would it sound like if you COULD play it?” when speaking with a student who was unhappy with their performance. This usually lead to the response, “well, if I COULD play it, it would sound like this…” and off they would go, playing like they were somebody else (and nailing it)!


      1. Liam Morgan

        Great idea Nev! Is it bass you play?

        Actually in a way I think this idea addresses a key principle of design and creation across any discipline, that a lot of people miss. The same teacher used to talk about the idea of all things being created twice, first on the mental plane and then on the physical plane. You could say nothing can be “created” physically without its relevant preceding thought or idea. Essentially the question of “What would it be like if you could…” is actually asking you to mentally design everything about what you want to happen before attempting it physically, which sounds like a lot more thinking but usually turns out to be A LOT more fun and results in a much higher chance of it turning out how you wanted!

        So I love the question;
        “What would it be like/sound like/look like/smell like/etc if you could…”

        Btw, did I tell you I play the trumpet?!

  27. Greg Watson

    Great reminder Neville. It is for precisely this reason that I signed up for How to Make Your First Dollar with Noah. I’d like to learn and understand more clearly just how you two “think” about business in this online world.

    Kind of reminds me of the brainiacs that I used to hang around with as a kid. They certainly thought about the world around us differently than most of the other kids at school. Cheers

    1. Neville

      Thanks Greg!

      Yes…it’s very helpful to view the world through someone else’s framework from time to time.

      It can open your eyes in a big way. One of the reasons reading autobiographies is so great!

  28. Li

    Loved that you had audio with your post!

    I definitely think it’s time to make some changes. I am in the SF bay area and your post made me realize I need even more ambitious friends now that I am going entrepreneur. (Yes, I went through your Killing the Wantrepreneur course so my idea has been validated :)

    1. Neville

      Yea I figured some people wouldn’t have time (or patients) to read such a long post… thought I’d just read it out for ya :-)

      You should def keep reading books and watching interviews constantly to make sure your influences stay strong!

  29. Chi

    Great post Nev, a very different tone than the Nev I’m used to. Not saying sexy radio voice is a bad thing, just a surprised.

    A really useful reminder – Thanks man

  30. Christy Osborne Clemmons

    Yes!! Yes! This is soo true. We are a product of our environment. You know when I was reading this…I almost panicked because I don’t hang out with anyone really. I thought OH no meet more people make new friends…I am not really up for it. However, I kept reading and YES! It all makes perfect sense. I can listen, read and a different TOP 5 and I CAN PICK WHO IT IS! Thank you so much. I just needed a reality check. God Bless!

  31. Vicky Lau from Australia, one of the countries you MUST visit

    Thanks Uncle Neville! I’m really happy to find out i don’t need to dump my friends.


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